Perception Can Make or Break Us

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The way we perceive and react to things can make or break a situation. Let me use a personal story to explain. The other day I had been studying for hours, I washed and folded 4 loads of laundry, I cleaned the house and made dinner. I was exhausted! When my husband came home from work I had decided to take a break from my homework until the next morning. He had gone to class that day and done homework and spent 5 hours digging trenches in dirt that was actually 80% rocks. It goes without saying, but he had a rough day. I said "I'm exhausted I'm just going to be done for the night." My husband's response was "Man I've been working all day! I'm tired too." My first thought was "Why is it a competition who is more tired or who worked more?" I perceived his comment as a way of critiquing my work that day. And of course my husband didn't mean it that way. After I thought about it for a few minutes my perception changed. My husband has been looking for a job for a while now and when he got a job last week he has been working as much as he possibly could because he want's so badly to contribute more financially. When he came home from work he was tired and he made a comment possibly because he needs to know that he is being appreciated for his hard work and sacrifice. He needs to know that I recognize his hard work. Once I thought about it this way I was no longer offended that he might have been competing to see who could work more. I was filled with gratitude and appreciation for the sacrifices he was making for me. So instead of having an argument about how I first perceived his comment. We were still happy and I feel more appreciative of him.

This is an example of the symbolic interaction theory. We understand and perceive things that happen around us and they become symbols to us. I saw it symbolically that my husband was trying to one-up me. But after some thought I symbolically saw his reaction as a way to ask for reassurance that I appreciate him. My purpose here is to help others to understand that sometimes we need to change our perspective to better understand others. If I had not changed my perspective of what my husband meant to say with his comment we might have gotten in an argument that night and it would have caused more tension. Our perspective of how we see situations can cause contention or it can helps us to be more grateful for the people in our lives. It can strengthen our relationships or it can cause problems.

A maneira que percebemos e reagimos com as coisas pode fazer uma situaçao boa ou pode fazer a situaçao dificil. Deixa-me explicar com uma historia personal. Alguns dias atras eu estava muito ocupada. Eu estava estudando, lavando muita roupa, limpando a casa e fazendo a janta. Eu estava muito cansada! Meu esposo chegou em casa do trabalho e eu decedi a parar de fazer o meu trabalho da escola pela noite. Ele foi a escola, fez as terefas da escola, e trabalhou o dia inteiro. Nao preciso falar isso mas ele tinha um dia muito dificil. Eu falei, "Estou cansada eu vou terminar esse trabalho da escola amanha." Meu esposo respondeu, "Eu trabalhei o dia todo. Eu estou cansado tambem." Meu primeiro pensamento foi, "Porque ele esta competindo comigo? Tanto faz quem trabalhou mais ou esta mais cansado." Eu perçebi o comente dele como uma critica do meu trabalho aquele dia. Mas claro que ele nao tinha o proposito de falar aquilo.  Depois de pensar sobre aquilo um pouquinho minha perspectiva mudou. Meu esposo estava procurando trabalho faz muito tempo agora. E quando ele achou trabalhoa semana antes, ele començou a trabalhar o maximo que possivel porque ele queria me ajudar o maiz possivel com as coisas finanças. Ele chegou em casa e estava muito cansado e ele falou aquilo porque ele queria saber que eu lhe-apreiava pelo trabalho vindouro e os sacrificios que ele estava fazendo por mim. Ele somente precisava saber que eu via que ele estava fazendo isso por mim. Quando eu pensei sobre aquilo nessa maneira eu nao estava ofendida mais. Eu fiquei cheia de gratitude e apreciçao por ele.

Esse e um exemplo da theoria de interaçao simbolica. Nos entendemos e percebemos as coisas que aconteçem em nosso redor e elas se-tornam simbolos para nos. Eu vi aquilo simbolicamente que meu esposo estava tentando a ser mais que eu. Mas depois de mudar minha percepçao do que ele falou eu simbolicamente vi a reaçao dele como uma maneira de pedir por apreciaçao dele. Meu proposito aqui e a ajudar outras pessoas a entendem que as vezes precisamos mudar nossa perspectiva para poder entender outras pessoas melhor. Se eu nunca tinha mudado minha perspectiva do que meu esposo falou a gente ia começar a brigar e ter mais tensao em nossa casa. Nossas perspectivas das situaçoes que temos pode causar problemas ou pode nos ajudar a ser mais gratos das pessoas nas nossas vidas. Pode fortelecer nossos relacionamentos se reagirmos corretamente. 

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