Creating a STRONG foundation to a relationship (Part 2)

I believe that communication is key to creating a beautiful relationship. I have seen many situations, in my marriage and in other’s relationships, that communicating badly or not communicating at all causes contention and unnecessary arguments. It starts when you are dating (courting) and getting engaged. There are certain things that are important to talk about before getting marriage. One of the major topics, I believe, is creating a budget together. It is crucial to talk about your income, your bills, and where your money is going. I promise you. If you and your spouse are not on the same page about where your funds go, you WILL have problems in your marriage. Financial contention in a relationship is the cause of a huge percentage of divorces. And this does not mean that money is everything. But in reality you do need money to survive. You NEED to decide, and agree on, TOGETHER where your money is going. And I can promise you, with the highest confidence, that you will have less contention in your marriage. Questions you could ask each other could be: What kinds of bills do you already pay? What is your monthly income? Do you have any debt? Should we combine bank accounts? How are we going keep our budget?

Another crucial topic to communicate about would be how to share space. I know this sounds silly but think about it a little. It doesn’t matter how much you love them, adjusting to living with someone, especially someone of the opposite sex, can be difficult. For example, I have had to control how many of my items I leave on the bathroom counter because my husband likes to have a clear bathroom counter. And my husband has learned to not leave his empty water bottles on the counter. It sounds silly, I know. But both people grew up in different homes with different cleanliness habits. So it is normal to have those differences when you move in together. Sleeping together can also be difficult to get used to. My husband and I have found that we both have to sleep on a specific side of the bed. We learned really early on that if we end up switching sides for whatever reason, we WILL NOT be able to sleep at night. It is important to talk about these things so that the “little things” don’t turn into bigger things.

I especially believe that it is important to communicate your appreciations for each other. When we recognize all of the sacrifices the other person makes to contribute to the relationship and express our gratitude about them we will create more trust and love in our relationships. It doesn’t matter what your love language is. Everyone needs to know they are appreciated. And it is not okay to assume that the other person knows that you appreciate them. You need to SAY IT. When a person is exhausted and doesn’t feel appreciated they will feel less motivated to put forth effort into your relationship. Not feeling appreciated diminishes trust and even diminishes desires to be intimate. A simple “honey I am so grateful for all that you do for me” goes a LONG WAY. Simply letting the other know “I recognize the sacrifices you make for us” can give an exhausted husband or wife that extra push to keep going.

There are many other things that we should communicate about to create a strong relationship. These, in my mind, are a few of the more crucial ones. And I promise to all that if you communicate about these things in your relationship you WILL have a happier marriage.