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When I was a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints I was required to always work with a companion. We had the responsibility to help each other progress and get better at teaching people the gospel. Every week we would have what we called "Companionship Inventory." This was a time when we would discuss things that we could do to be better and make goals to accomplish that. I once had a companion who would keep a list of things that she didn't like about me. She would add to it during the week every time I did something that she didn't like. And then on the day of Companionship Inventory she would unload this long list of things that were wrong with me. It was frustrating, degrading and discouraging. She made me feel like there was nothing I could do to make her proud of me because there would always be something wrong with me. This experience, though frustrating, taught me a lot about how to give constructive criticism. I learned that if you are correcting, do it out of love instead of degrading the person. When parenting, correct in a way that doesn't give the impression that you feel that you are better than your child or that you are the "boss." Don't get me wrong, your children do need to know that they need to respect you. But respect can be earned when you are kind and fair. Respect doesn't come when you force the other person to respect you. That brings obedience out of fear instead of obedience out of love. That companion also taught me to never purposely embarrass someone. And always be humble and willing to admit when you are wrong. And apologize when you are wrong.

D&C 121: 41-44
41- "No power or influence can or ought to be maintained by virtue of the priesthood, only by persuasion, by long suffering, by gentleness and meekness, and by love unfeigned."

42- "By kindness, and pure knowledge, which shall greatly enlarge the soul without hypocrisy, and without guile."

43- "Reproving bedtimes with sharpness, when moved upon by the Holy Ghost; and then showing forth afterwards an increase of love toward him whom thou hast reproved, lest he esteem thee to be his enemy;

44- "That he may know that thy faithfulness is stronger than the cords of death."

Love is the ultimate key when it comes to parenting and relationships. When you correct with love, the other person is more willing to accept the correction. When you discipline with love, your children won't hate your guts and think that you are ruining their lives. When you tell your spouse the things that they do that bother you, if you do it with love, they will not feel personally attacked. They will feel your love, they will know that you care about them.

One of the girls suggested reading the Book of Mormon through a parent's eyes. In doing this, we will be able to see things through a different perspective; a perspective of love and compassion. There are many instances in the Book of Mormon that show how parents teach with love and kindness. When you teach with love, the Spirit is present. When the Spirit is present, harsh feelings such as anger, frustration, resentment and hatred are not present. When the Spirit is present the conversation can be productive. And even though you are correcting and talking about things that frustrate you, there will be a good feeling between the two of you.

This is one of those things that I personally need to work on. It is difficult to not get emotional and angry when talking about certain things. But it is worth working on. Controlling anger and emotions helps to have more constructive conversations.

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