Parenting

I feel a little silly for writing about parenting this week. I'm 23 and married but I'm not a mother yet. I've never had to "parent" someone longer than a few hours. Babysitting has given me a little practice but I can't really count babysitting as actually parenting. Being a parent is a never-ending job. It requires working late into the night, waking up early, and changing what seems like an endless number of diapers. It also requires providing for their physical, emotional, psychological and developmental needs. Parenting is a HUGE job. And I've never experienced it before. So I feel a little silly for writing on it. But I'll share my observations and the knowledge that I've gained through research.

On September 23, 1995, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints came out with what they call The Family: A Proclamation to the World. This is an article that states God's direction and commandments when it comes to the family. The Proclamation states, "Husband and wife have the solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children. Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, t provide for their physical and spiritual needs, and to teach them to love and serve one another, observe the commandments of God, and be law-abiding citizens wherever they live. Husbands and wives-mothers and fathers-will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations." We are taught that we are accountable for teaching and raising our children in the gospel. And if we do not fulfill our responsibilities we will have to stand before God one day and be held responsible. That makes the responsibility of being a parent that more serious. It is more than just giving our children the things that they need physically. It is giving them what they need physically, emotionally, psychologically, and SPIRITUALLY. And to be honest, the thought of being responsible for raising one of God's most precious children is absolutely terrifying. But it also gives me the desire to become the person God want's me to be, that way I can be ready to raise His children the way He would want me to.

This brings me to a controversial topic. How should we raise our children? To be quite frank, I have seen a lot of monster children in my life. I wait tables for a living. I have seen children open all of the sugar packets on and dump them on the ground. I have seen children throw their macaroni on the ground and dance on top of it, grinding it into the carpet for me to clean up. And what are the parents doing while the children do this? They are chatting with their friends and laughing at their children saying, "children are just like that." No. Children are not JUST like that. How do I know? I have also see children who come into the restaurant with their parents who sit quietly, color on their kids menu, and eat their food appropriately. So I have a really hard time believing that "children are just like that." Children act a certain way because of the way they are raised. You can plainly see which children are disciplined and which children are not. Now lets recognize that discipline and abuse are NOT the same thing. A child who is told "no" and is not left to do whatever they want is disciplined. A child who is beaten for no reason is abused. A child will naturally look up to their parents for direction and support. So if a child is told no and is properly disciplined they will behave appropriately. But those parents who let their children do whatever they want, making a mess of the restaurant, and then buy their children desert are reinforcing bad behavior. The children will never learn to act appropriately. And it will affect them their whole lives. A disciplined child will grow up to be motivated to work for what they get. A non-disciplined child will grow up self-entitled and selfish.

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