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When I was a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints I was required to always work with a companion. We had the responsibility to help each other progress and get better at teaching people the gospel. Every week we would have what we called "Companionship Inventory." This was a time when we would discuss things that we could do to be better and make goals to accomplish that. I once had a companion who would keep a list of things that she didn't like about me. She would add to it during the week every time I did something that she didn't like. And then on the day of Companionship Inventory she would unload this long list of things that were wrong with me. It was frustrating, degrading and discouraging. She made me feel like there was nothing I could do to make her proud of me because there would always be something wrong with me. This experience, though frustrating, taught me a lot about how to give constructive criticism. I learned that if you a

Parenting

I feel a little silly for writing about parenting this week. I'm 23 and married but I'm not a mother yet. I've never had to "parent" someone longer than a few hours. Babysitting has given me a little practice but I can't really count babysitting as actually parenting. Being a parent is a never-ending job. It requires working late into the night, waking up early, and changing what seems like an endless number of diapers. It also requires providing for their physical, emotional, psychological and developmental needs. Parenting is a HUGE job. And I've never experienced it before. So I feel a little silly for writing on it. But I'll share my observations and the knowledge that I've gained through research. On September 23, 1995, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints came out with what they call The Family: A Proclamation to the World. This is an article that states God's direction and commandments when it comes to the family. The Procla

Who is responsible for family income?

Should the husband and father be primarily responsible for the family income? Sense the beginning of time men have been responsible for providing income for the families needs. Even back when money didn't exist men were responsible for hunting and bringing home food for his family and the women were responsible for taking care of the children and the home. But in modern times this has become quite a controversial topic. We as members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints have been taught that men have the divine responsibility to provide for the financial and physical needs of his family. And the woman is divinely responsible for caring for the children and the home.  Many people look at this principle with judgmental eyes. They think that it is degrading for a woman to "have" to stay home That men are "more capable" and "better suited" for work outside of the home. This is not what the church is stating. Women are more than capable and

Fatherhood

There has been controversy about whether or not a father is an important aspect of the family. Many would argue that men aren't as important. Men are not present and they don't make much of a difference in children's lives. Many would even say that men are "annoying accessories." But what a lot of people don't realize is how crucial it is to have the father present and influencing the children in the home. RN and BN Leah East and her colleges made a statement on the importance of fathers in the lives of their children, (1) "This special relationship can shape childhood development, influence values and be a predictor of both positive and negative psychological well-being." Children who grow up as delinquents, girls that grow up with skewed ideas of how a man should treat them, and even most of teen pregnancies are directly correlated with children who didn't have fathers present in the home. A father figure helps young women to

Communication: Key to Happiness

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Most marital problems (and frankly, problems with any type of relationship) are usually caused because of bad communication. People disagree and have arguments all the time. That is normal. You cannot expect someone to have the exact same views as you have. Everyone was raise in different families with different beliefs and standards. So it is normal for someone to think differently. But what is not appropriate is how people communicate in those arguments. It is never appropriate to yell at someone or control the conversation. It is never appropriate to always make the other person the bad guy. It is never appropriate to degrade or insult the other person. These things do not create an environment in which communication can take place. We all know that couple that has intense and ineffective fights. Some of you reading this might be thinking that maybe you do this when you are in an argument. Does yelling or blaming or degrading your spouse fix the problem? Or does it just cover it

When Tragedy Strikes

Tragedy is something that we cannot avoid in life. It happens sometimes more to one person than the other but it will still affect everyone in some kind of way. The way to help a family under a severe amount of stress is learning how to cope with those tragedies. But what is coping to you? Coping is not merely surviving. Coping is not merely going through the motions of your life and getting things done. It is more than just getting by. Coping is making those adjustments that allow you to do more than just survive but to help you function and rebuild yourself to be happy again. Now the definition of tragedy is different for everyone. Dictionary.com states that "tragedy is a lamentable, dreadful, or fatal event or affair; calamity; disaster." So for one family tragedy could be a death in the family or a divorce between parents. For others, tragedy could be the loss or destruction of a home. I personally know a single woman whom lives alone with her dog. Her dog had to be put

Increasing Intimacy in your Marriage

What is the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word intimacy ? From what I hear, many people will first think of sex. This is true. Having sex is a way of being intimate. But we all know that not everyone has sex that is intimate. All of us know at least one couple that makes a joke about their sexual relationship. They make sexual jokes, share details about their sexual experiences, and make it a competition between friends for who gets to do it more. Let me just be frank with those people. That does not make your relationship intimate. That does not make sex more fun or more enjoyable. It destroys the sanctity and specialness of sex. If you do that to your relationship, your sexual experiences will be meaningless and superficial. Do you want to make sex more enjoyable and special? Do you want to have this deep connection with your partner? Do you want to be more satisfied with your sexual experiences? We need to first remember that intimacy isn't just having se